What I Learned from my ‘Imposter’

My ‘Imposter’s’ views on having my research published a chapter in a book 

It is December 2021. I am in my son’s nursery, praying to the gods of sleep to be merciful, and I receive an email from the Head of the MA in Children’s Literature at Goldsmith’s University. The email asked whether I would be happy for my research to be included in a publication of innovative research studies. My work would be one of nineteen MA alumni contributions of ‘outstanding research studies’. 

‘Well’, I thought. ‘I’m imagining there has been some sort of mistake here’. 

Yes. 

There it was in all its glory. 

The gnarled claw of my old friend/foe: Lord Imposter of the Syndrome family. Their grip tightening on my heart, my gut and my voice. Why on earth would they want my research in that book? Have they seen the other contributors… they’re incredible!? Would I feel like a complete fraud standing amongst those guys? Er yeah! I would only have to redraft it now anyway because there is no way it is good enough for publication. Such lovely, helpful thoughts. 

Imposter Syndrome 

The time had come for me to put into the practice a lot of the work I do with leaders around authentic and compassionate leadership. We know imposter syndrome to be feeling like a fraud, that someday we will get ‘found out’, or, as I often mused in my executive leadership role, ‘phew, I got away with that one!’. I have always wondered though, is this an imposter? Or is it a protective friend, warning against a perceived danger? Louis Weinstock, in his stunning book ‘How the World is Making Our Children Mad and What to Do About It: A field guide to raising empowered children and growing a more beautiful world’ talks about showing compassion to these voices within us. He talks about listening to them and showing kindness and understanding. Essentially, they are a part of us. They are an ally along the journey and the intention is always good even if it is not helpful. 

Listening to the Imposter 

So I listened. My imposter friend was trying to protect me from: rejection, not being as good as the others, not ‘rising above my station’. I thanked them then I challenged them. During coaching sessions, I often offer that it can help to talk about owning our strengths and being ok with the qualities we have. We talk about how helpful it can be to sometimes hold a word in mind when reacting or responding. My word at this time was definitely ‘courage’. My research was completely from my heart. I believe in it, I believe it matters. I believe it can transform not only the ambitions and experiences of young people but also those of adults who are part of their learning journey. It was important that I challenged my self-doubt and aligned myself with the giants I was walking with, because it matters. I could be counted amongst the others. All our projects were very different, but the thread that pulled all our work together was a shared purpose and a shared sense of what is right and what will work. 

Doing this takes courage and a lot of self-compassion. The world, now more than ever, needs leaders who can hold their imposters’ hands, reassuring them that they have the resources, strengths and capabilities to be brave. To be kind. 

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To have a chat about my services and how I help, please email me at lucy@lucytimmons.com or fill in the contact form here.